Week Five: Resonant Phrases

I'm feeling a little frustrated because I started this post a couple of days ago, but my computer froze up and I lost the work. Of course, this was the week I decided to skip the step of writing them in my journal first and just go straight to the blog. So now I have to RE-read a THIRD time, and do the WHOLE THING over. Ugh. I don't know what the reward is for this blog. I'm feeling non-committed and wondering why I'm doing this... honestly, at the moment, the only thing that's keeping me at it? It's less work/noise than doing the dishes.

This week, instead of quoting the book directly, I'll be paraphrasing the ideas that interest me, and fleshing some of them out.

We curtail our possibilities by placing limits on the good we can receive.

What is the cost of settling for appearing good, instead of being authentic?

Sometimes it's easy to dismiss the idea of being open to "what the universe provides" (or God, however you want to word it) as being TOO arty, or flaky... Ju-Cam notes that detractors might call it wishing for a "magic wand"... however, she goes on to define the process as "a conscious partnership in which we work along slowly and gradually, clearing away the wreckage of our negative patterning (blurts), clarifying the vision of what we want, learning to accept small pieces. . . from whatever source and one day, presto! The vision seems to be in place."

I feel that this logic is proving to be true for me... I have been skating or coasting for a while now, not producing much artistically nor putting an expectation on myself to do so. By bringing my attention on it, "suddenly" doors have opened... but the truth is that, doors have probably been opening this whole time and I just haven't been looking for them.

"One reason we are miserly with ouserlves is scarcity thinking. We don't want our luck to run out. We don't want to overspend our (spiritual) abundance." This rings true for me; I especially see this in my mom's thinking... so in my case it's probably a learned behavior.

When we are on the Right Path (caps are mine-thinking of this as the Right Path in the Buddhist sense), we find friends, lovers, money, and meaningful work. Again, I think a lot of this has to do with just having your eyes open and consciously looking for opportunities.

At this point, Ju-Cam suggests using the morning pages for more than just stream-of-consciousness flow... writing questions in the book at night might reveal some answers in the morning. I had begun to do that anyway... the night before I read this chapter!

"Dependence on the creator within is really freedom from all other dependencies. Paradoxically, it is also the only route to real intimacy with other human beings. Freed from our terrible fears of abandonment, we are able to live with more spontaneity. Freed from our constant demands for more and more reassurance, our fellows are able to love us back without feeling burdened." There are some interesting ideas in here... I'm not sure I agree with all of them, but I do see the value in being independent and self-contained as an artist. Actually, the ideal-artist-prototype described in this paragraph reminds me a lot of my friend Emily. As far as her place in the artistic world, she requires very little in the way of outside validation. Me, I'm more Bette-Midler-in-Beaches (she can never be loved enough).

Listening to the artist within creates a sense of safety and security and allows those artistic desires to be felt harder and heard louder.

THE VIRTUE TRAP

"An artist must have downtime, time to do nothing." This is so true for me, I actually have a considerable amount of my life structured around that need. The whole section resonates for me... I look forward to Dave reading it, and I hope it makes him feel like it's okay to say no to others (including me), and take time for himself, and just generally do more for himself.