The callbacks for Avenue Q

I might as well get the most embarrassing tidbit out of the way first since it happened immediately. I brought my own puppet to the callback. I'm not sure what I was thinking... something along the lines that since I hadn't gone to the original auditions, I was like a +1 for the callback and maybe they wouldn't have enough puppets. There was nary a puppet in sight... I knew the second I walked in that if I didn't act fast, I would forever set myself apart as the weird puppet lady. So I hid the puppet in my purse, fast.

(In hindsight, I should have just flown my freak flag high and proud. Yep, I'm the weird puppet lady. Get over it).

I went in feeling way overconfident because of getting in by my resume/video submission alone, so the no-puppets thing was the first dent in the armor. Also, there were WAY more people there than I was expecting, and although I didn't notice it at the time, they were all at least ten years younger than me. I think I'm in that weird too old to be the ingenue, too young to be the matron place, casting-wise.

After waiting about 10 minutes, we learned Mix Tape & Special in a group and when we were done, the accompanist asked me if I taught voice lessons! So I thought I must have been sounding pretty good. Score another one for overconfidence.

Since I was feeling so buoyant, I volunteered to go in first, but when I got before the panel they were like "we don't have your paperwork," and I was like, "here's my resume", and they were like NO, your PAPERWORK. Then the "casting director" that I'd sent my e-mail to (whose role seemed more "production assistant-y than anything) said, "Oh, you just came in right before the singing so I didn't have time to give it to you, remember?" and I was like, NO BITCH, I REMEMBER SITTING AROUND FOR 10 MINUTES WHILE YOU TEXTED PEOPLE ON YOUR PHONE. Only I didn't call her on it because I couldn't see how it would help me, and it kind of would have gone against the basic improv principle of making others look and feel good.

When we got into the hall she apologized that she didn't have anymore forms because she hadn't had time to run downstairs and make more copies. Whatever, bitch, how many copies did you need for the ONE person who didn't fill them out at the first round?

By the time I was done filling them out, everyone else had gone before. Dang! So much for being first. Also, I'd realized that this "casting director" woman who made the judgment call to let me come to callbacks had nothing to do with the casting. Also, she told me she couldn't open my attachments or watch my video... Really?

So, not to make excuses for myself, but by the time I went back in, I kind of felt like I had a couple of strikes against me. I was left with the feeling that whatever I did was not the caliber of what I would have done the first time I went in. I still felt like I sang well and I made strong and very different character choices.

When I was done, the ACTUAL DIRECTOR said, "Thank you, that's all I need from you today." Bear in mind that he'd kept the rest of the ladies for reading sides, including the one with laryngitis! I was crushed, mortified, and stunned, all of which I'm sure showed on my face before I managed to regain my composure. As I walked out of the room, the accompanist gave me a sympathetic, better-luck-next-time look.

AND I had to walk through the roomful of still-eligible ladies and gents (who all heard my audition and some of whom gave me a thumbs up) in order to get out of the building. AGONY.

Although it was mortifying, I don't view this as a total loss because:
a- I kind of fought for an opportunity when I normally would have let it pass me by
b- I got a new headshot because of it
c- it inspired me to update my resume
d- next time I will totally trust my instincts and do the freak-flag thing... whether it's use a puppet, bring a prop, whatever...
e- it got me back in the game and I've already set up a second audition... RENT! Tomorrow!
f- I know it sounds elitist, but I kind of feel like I dodged a bullet if they didn't even want to SEE how the performers would interact with puppets... right? I feel like I'm qualified to say that as the weird puppet lady. ;)